Friday, May 22, 2009

We Met a Year AGO!

It has been a year from now when the girls and I first met. I can't believe it has been a year!

I remember the first time we held hands and the first smile at me. They remember the smell of the gum I was chewing when we first met. But, it has been a year!

During the last couple of week, Rita and Racheal have been acting very strange. I couldn't lay my hands on it. The behavior Jarett and I were getting was a very defiant type of behavior: "I'm not going to...." or "Next time, I am not...". This was very strange behavior for the girls because they usually aren't so defiant. I was concerned, but at the same time I was thinking well they are 9 years old and figuring out things. Now, words and phrases aren't allowed to be spoken like that in our family because it shows disrespect. So when they did that then they had to do a chore for me or something to help me out in the house. During this same time, they kept bringing up their family in Africa. Well, about a week ago, we had a friend of ours (who is a photographer) take family photos of us. Right in the middle of taking the pictures, Racheal says to me with tears building up, "I miss my family in Africa". Right then and there I knew that was the cause of the behavior. I told her, "I know you do, let's talk about it tonight".

After pictures and PJs on, the girls came into my room. We had an amazing talk. This was the first time I talked to them about being adopted and feeling like they now have a better grasp on it. They are still grieving quite a bit, but it seems like a more healthy grieving. This is so hard because they understand and still wonder about their family in Africa. We talked about how lucky they are to have two families and how one day we are all going to be together in God's house. The hardest question for me to answer was "How are we going to know when our birth mom dies". I told them I don't know if we will ever know but we will see her again in Heaven. Them seem ok about it now, but I know the grieving is going to come and go with them. They were old enough to remember their life in Ghana when they left almost a year ago. They have been mentioning seeing their mother a couple of times at Eban House. She lived very close to the home and would come over to see the girls. I think that made things much more confusing for them. But, having to give up my children due to poverty is something I could never imagine doing. If it helped her to know she made the right decision by giving them up, then I am ok with the visits. On the other hand, I wished she didn't do it or was allowed to go and visit because I do feel like it was confusing for the girls. They were under the impression that they were to come to American to go to school and then go back to Ghana to give money to their family. I am hoping with time and maturing, the girls will completely understand what has occurred with them.

We love the girls so much and I know they truly love us! They just need to understand their heart can hold on to so much!

Below are a few of our family photos: